This Feeling

This hidden feeling,

what is it?

It's getting heavier,

it’s getting bigger,

what is this awful feeling?

Caltech, an institute

that will soon gain a

great student.

It hurts,

it’s crushing me when we discuss

my brother’s future.

Everyday I laugh,

talk,

and hurt.

I hope this year my brother can soar

with many memorable memories.

I sit on the cold chair,

as the silent words float out

of a senior and a middle-aged man.

I laugh and clench my stomach,

will I be able to laugh like?

He says he won’t miss us,

but I know he will.

The way we laugh

we play our childish games,

the piano playing,

and the game playing are all things

he can leave with,

but they should be enough.

I hope this year my brother can soar

with many memorable memories.

He will visit us,

we will welcome him

like coming home from school,

and he will mooch off of my parents.

This is the feeling of goodbye,

the words I don’t want to say.

Goodbye Simon.